Business Writing Assignment #1 (Chapters 4 to 6)


1. Complete this assignment on blank sheet of paper

2. Use Microsoft Word, Times New Roman and 12-Pitch

3. Print completed document and hand in at beginning of class on Tuesday, February 11, 2020

4. Is worth 5% towards final grade


Note: Pay attention to details:

a) assignment instructions

b) good appearance

c) correct grammar, punctuation and use of English language


Question No. 1: Rewrite the following using the guidelines in Chapter 4 through Chapter 6: (50%)


NOTE: 1) Revise using three-paragraph strategy (See Session 5 Powerpoint Chart 14), proper flow to ensure that your messages are clear, concise and with good you-attitude and proper English.


As an organization, the North American Personal Motorsports Marketing Association has committed ourselves to helping our members—a diverse group comprising of dealers of motorcycles, all-terrain vehicles, Snowmobiles, and personal watercraft—achieve their business objectives. Consequently, our organization, which usually goes under the initials NAPMMA, has the following aims, goals, and objectives. Firstly, we endeavor to aid or assist our members in reaching their business objectives. Second, NAPMMA communicates (“lobbying” in slang terms) with local, state, and national governmental agencies and leaders on issues of importance to our members. And lastly, we educate the motorsports public, that being current motorsports vehicle owners, and prospective owners of said vehicles, on the safe and enjoyable operation of they’re vehicles.


The north American Personal Motorsports Marketing Association(NAPMMA) is an organization committed to helping dealers of motorcycles, all-terrain vehicles, snowmobiles, and personal watercraft, to achieve their business objectives. Consequently, it has the following aims and goals.

Firstly, they endeavor to aid or assist their members in reaching their business objectives. Second, they communicates with local, state and national governmental agencies and leaders on issues of importance to their members. lastly, they educate the motorsports public which includes currentmotorsports vehicle owners, and prospective owners of saidvehicles, on the safe and enjoyable operation of their vehicles.



Question No. 2: Revise for Readability (Sentence and Paragraph Length). Re-write the following paragraph to vary the length of the sentences and to shorten the paragraph so it looks more inviting to readers: (15%)


Although major league baseball remains popular, more people are attending minor league baseball games because they can spend less on admission, snacks, and parking and still enjoy the excitement of America’s pastime. Connecticut, for example, has three AA minor league teams, including the New Haven Ravens, who are affiliated with the St. Louis Cardinals; the Norwich Navigators, who are affiliated with the New York Yankees; and the New Britain Rock Cats, who are affiliated with the Minnesota Twins. These teams play in relatively small stadiums, so fans are close enough to see and hear everything, from the swing of the bat connecting with the ball to the thud of the ball landing in the outfielder’s glove. Best of all, the cost of a family outing to see rising stars play in a local minor league game is just a fraction of what the family would spend to attend a major league game in a much larger, more crowded stadium.

Question No. 3: Revise for Readability (Sentence Length). Break the following sentences into shorter ones by adding more periods and revise as needed for smooth flow.

Type your answer below each of the three sentences. (10%)

a. The next time you write something, check your average sentence length in a 100-word passage, and if your sentences average more than 16 to 20 words, see whether you can break up some of the sentences.


b. Don’t do what the village blacksmith did when he instructed his apprentice as follows: “When I take the shoe out of the fire, I’ll lay it on the anvil, and when I nod my head, you hit it with the hammer.” The apprentice did just as he was told, and now he’s the village blacksmith.



c. Unfortunately, no gadget will produce excellent writing, but using a yardstick like the Fog Index gives us some guideposts to follow for making writing easier to read because its two factors remind us to use short sentences and simple words.


Question No. 4: Edit for Clarity (Indefinite Starters). Rewrite these sentences to eliminate the indefinite starters: (10%)


a. There are several examples here to show that Elaine can’t hold a position very long.


b. It would be greatly appreciated if every employee would make a generous contribution to Draymond Cook’s retirement party.



c. It has been learned in Washington today from generally reliable sources that an important announcement will be made shortly by the White House.




Question No. 5: Edit for conciseness and clarity. Revise the following with better words or phrases. (10%)



A. Long period of time –



B. It is imperative that the pay increments be terminated before an inordinate deficit is accumulated.




C. They did not find sufficient evidence for believing in the future.




D. In all probability, we’re likely to have a price increase.




E. The union’s proposals were highly inflationary, extremely demanding, and exceptionally bold.



F. It seems as if this letter of resignation means you might be leaving us.




Question No. 6: Proofreading: Proofread the following email message and revise it to correct any problems you find: (5%)


1. Our final company orrientation of the year will be held on Dec. 20. In preparation for this sesssion, please order 20 copies of the Policy handbook, the confindentiality agreenemt, the employee benefits Manual, please let me know if you anticipate any delays in obtaining these materials.